On Shadow.

[realmrsreynolds]

Sallie's accustomed by this point in her career in Milliways with bringing people through to her house.

Sometimes however, she does forget to mention that her door leads to the back end of her walk-in pantry.

"Mind the rice bags, please," Sallie throws out behind her. "I haven't had a chance to put them away yet."

'Them', here, meaning 'a stack of burlap bags waist high that restricts the narrow walkway of actual living space to about half of its original width'.

Sallie's concise like that; even she has issues navigating it all.

Comments

[gavemea_45]

"Thanks, Sallie."

Sam tosses her a quick, distracted grin, but most of his attention stays on Dean.

"I dunno, man -- you could always get your new friend Ed to grab it. Simon'd probably think it was just another joke."

[hopeitsworthit]

"Uh huh. I'll get right on that, you betcha."

Most of Dean's attention is fixed on the pie.

"Man, that pie looks really--"

Sam's lucky his legs are so long.

Means Dean doesn't have to slouch to kick him in the shin.

"--awesome. Uh. You sure are some cook."

Something ain't right here. But what the fuck is it?

[realmrsreynolds]

"I'm a lady of many talents."

Balancing a heavy ceramic dish, laden with a berry pie, is not easy without some strength in the wrists.

An arthritic lady probably doesn't have the strength to carry that dish by the bottom, so she sticks the serving knife in the pocket of her apron, shifts the dish so as to hold it by both ends and

It's a dull CLANK, when the pie dish slams into Sam's forehead, cracking down the middle, dark red pie filling falling down the front of Sam's shirt.

"Now now, Samuel. So messy."

[gavemea_45]

What the--

Sam's half-stunned, half wanting to get out of her reach the only way he can at the moment.

He reels back and then topples sideways from the chair with a solid THUD.

As he hits the floor, a darker red begins to flow from the cut on his head, mixing with the pie filling.

[hopeitsworthit]

"Jesus Christ."

Dean's up and out of his own chair by the time Sam falls, and while he'd like to run over to his brother, make sure he's okay--

still breathing

--he's not about to have both of 'em out for the count.

"Betting Christo isn't gonna work on you, is it?"

He doesn't finish that thought before he's diving left, hand scrabbling for the salt-loaded shotgun.

It ain't like he wants to kill Sallie. Not really.

[realmrsreynolds]

There's the smile that was lacking, before.

"Not hardly. Welcome to try, though." The serving knife gets drawn out of the pocket of her apron. "[You don't have a thing against me.]"

There's enough time to grab a shrapnel's edge of the former pie dish off the table and take a step toward Sam --

[hopeitsworthit]

Oh, bitch, you did not.

Dean's not into pistol-whipping old people, but he'll make an exception this time.

Which is why he lunges forward, intent on sticking himself between Sam and the crazy thing that is definitely not Mrs. Reynolds.

[gavemea_45]

Sam's got long legs. Her single step is all it takes to bring her within reach of them.

Reflexively, he kicks out, trying to knock her feet out from under her.

[realmrsreynolds]

He succeeds with Sallie's lead foot, and it's with enough force to make the old woman overcompensate, leaning backward and slipping.

Awkwardly -- and altogether unnaturally -- she shifts to land on her side, stabbing the floorboards with her knife as a prop to start to stand again.

Any normal crunching sound of bone against floor another 60something would experience is conspicuously absent, for the moment.

[hopeitsworthit]

Dean checks himself as Sallie falls, grabbing the hand that's holding the knife (or the wrist of the hand, rather), and twisting it behind her back.

Here's hoping the knife stays stuck in the floor.

"Uh-uh. None of that shit, sweetheart."

He brings some weight to bear, keeping her pinned. (If he can.)

"Sam. You okay?"

Most of his attention's on the old lady, and maybe the necklace that he's trying to keep from using to choke her.

Uh.

[gavemea_45]

"Yeah, I'm fine. Is she?"

He pushes himself to a sitting position, ignoring everything else to stare at his brother and Sallie.

"What the hell just happened?"

[realmrsreynolds]

"A little love tap is all."

Sallie's neck cranes to see Sam, and the humor -- what little there was -- disappears.

"You were in my kitchen."

[hopeitsworthit]

"Love tap, my ass."

If Dean sounds cranky, that's only because he is.

"Something set Sallie here off into Jekyll-and-Hyde-land."

He gives Sam a quick look, brows upraised.

It basically says 'any thoughts?'

[gavemea_45]

"I'll say it did."

Wincing slightly, Sam touches his forehead to test the damage, then lets his hand drop as he returns Dean's glance.

"You still got those scalpels on you?"

[hopeitsworthit]

Dean closes his eyes, just for a second.

"Yeah."

Fuck.

"Hey, Romeo. You wanna come over here and hold down the lady while I get 'em out, or you wanna go digging around in my pockets? Your call."

He manages a smirk. That kinda shit's easy.

It doesn't quite hit his eyes.

[realmrsreynolds]

"Shi a."




Sallie blows a kiss. "To make it better."

[gavemea_45]

Sam looks visibly unnerved by this, but moves to Dean's side anyway and takes hold of Sallie.

Through gritted teeth,

"Make it fast."

[hopeitsworthit]

"Sure."

Dean's smirk gets a little wider.

"Pussy."

But he's got the scalpels out pretty fast, reaching back to put 'em on the table. He puts his lighter there, too. Just because.

"Okay. Give her here."

They swap places again, Dean holding tight to Sallie so Sam can get at the table.

This is gonna get old after awhile, he can tell.

[realmrsreynolds]

Sallie stares at the scalpels on the table, then up to Dean and over to Sam each in turn.

"Wouldn't you rather use the pie dish instead? Got a nice weight to it."

Even with the bravado, her eyes go back to the scalpels as if to make sure they don't run off and plot against her.

[gavemea_45]

"We're not gonna hurt you."

It sounds as though it's coming through gritted teeth.

"That is, we're not gonna hurt Sallie. Whatever you are -- that's a different story."

Sam's digging in his satchel, looking for what he needs. He's not looking at her.

[hopeitsworthit]

"You," Dean says, because somebody's got to, "You, we're just gonna kill."

So she knows.

[realmrsreynolds]

"Pie-in-the-face over here almost already did that to your friend, knockin' an old lady on her pi gu." With a sneer, "Good job, by the way."

To Dean: "I been walkin' longer 'n you were a gleam in your daddy's daddy's eye, you liú kŏushuĭ de biăozi hé hóuzi de bèn érzi." The accent's heavier, different, not Sallie's own. "Got no business here; hurtin' 'stead of helpin'."

The woman throws her head back for good measure, hoping to clock Dean in the nose.

[hopeitsworthit]

"Yeah, sorry if your existential whatever-the-fuck is low on my priority list."

He fends off the intended blow to the face.

Gleam in Grandpa's eye or not, Dean wasn't born yesterday.

Jesus.

"Except--wait. No I'm not."

Come on, Sammy. This is getting old.

[gavemea_45]

"You want to tie her up?"

Sam's inscribing a circle on the table with white chalk, drawing symbols with near-reckless speed. He dusts the lines with salt, then pulls out a sheet scrawled with handwritten notes.

"This won't take too long."

[realmrsreynolds]

"You could just let me go. What am I gon' get into in this old hag, anyhow?"

It's a valid question, for Her Him It.